


Don’t Say Things That You’ll Regret: Forgiving Isn’t Easy

by mrgoldsdearie



Series: Don't say things that you'll regret [2]
Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Cheating, Cheating spouse, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-27
Updated: 2017-09-27
Packaged: 2019-01-06 05:33:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12204879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrgoldsdearie/pseuds/mrgoldsdearie
Summary: Flashback - Edward breaks off his affair with Lucius Fox (*whispers* just a warning, there's Foxma sex.) Present Day - Oswald shows up at Edward’s door wanting to talk.





	Don’t Say Things That You’ll Regret: Forgiving Isn’t Easy

**Author's Note:**

> Here’s the fix-it fic to the first little gem that made those who read it scream and cry while I bathed in their tears.

_[one year ago]_

Wheels of the stainless steel medical table slightly rock back and forth as the grinding on top of it progresses.

“Ah…. Ah….”, Edward moans quietly, bent over the table, keeping his secret affair exactly what it's meant to be.

Lucius Fox grips tightly at Edward's bare hips, taking the taller man’s ass from behind. “Oh, Ed,” he groans deeply in the back of his throat, driving his cock within Edward's wet walls, watching his leaking girth disappear and reappear as his heavy balls smack against Ed's round end. “Ah…. I'm-I’m gonna cum,” he warns.

Edward's hard dick swings freely between his thighs and he closes his right hand into a tight fist before slamming it against the table. He knows what they're doing is wrong, but he hasn't yet managed to stop chasing the intoxication.  _“This will be the last time,”_  he always says to himself.

Rolling his hips to take the impact of Lucius’ thrust, Edward feels his release rising through his body. “Touch my fucking cock,” he growls through his teeth.

Never faltering the rhythm of his drive, Lucius wraps his large right hand around Edward's thickness and strokes him vigorously from hilt to drooling pink tip.

“Yes….” Edward’s eyes roll back as his body drowns in the blissful sensation of their infidelity. His toes curl in his shoes every time Lucius bobbed his hand up and down, working his drenched shaft as he took the man's cock up his pulsing asshole. His body floods with warmth, as he neared the brink of orgasm, no longer able to hold it all back. “Ungh,” he moans in ecstasy, closing his eyes and drops his head forward, as his balls began to tremble between his thighs.

“Ah… Fuck.” Lucius crashes endlessly against Edward's redden cheeks, again and again, their heated bodies connect, penetrating the taller man's prostate with his thick cock.

An undeniable pulsation developed at the base of both of their shafts, signaling that their releases are imminent.

When his cock slips out through the intense friction between them, Lucius circled the tip over Edward's puckered opening, teasing his nerves before quickly re-entering him.   

That little brush around his hole shook shockwaves throughout Edward's body. He clenches his jaw and jerked his hips involuntarily when Lucius tightens his grip around his shaft, drawing out more clear liquid. “Ah, ah, ah,” he cries with each buck against him. His aching cock twitches in Lucius’ hand and with a sensuous moan it suddenly erupts squirting thick, creamy gobs of cum on the lab floor. Lucius’ climax soon follows, spilling his load deep inside Edward's throbbing asshole.

After a brief moment of riding out their orgasms, Lucius bends forward and places tender kisses on Edward's back. “You were incredible as always,” he whispers on his flesh.

Edward lays motionless and catches his breath as the flow of Lucius’ release slowly oozes down the inside of his thigh. That familiar feeling of guilt arrives like clockwork - keeping him from fully basking in the moment. “Please get off of me,” he says.

Lucius pulls out and steps away from Edward, then yanks a few towels off of the rack just behind him. “Are you alright?”, he asks and hands one of the towels to Edward.

After wiping himself clean and pulling up the pants from around his ankles, Edward finally answers, “No.”

Lucius buckles his belt and steps back up to Edward, wrapping his arms around his waist. “What's wrong?” He goes to lay a kiss on Edward's sweet lips, but Ed turns his head away.

“You know what's wrong,” he replies and unwraps Lucius’ arms from around him.

Lucius takes a step back and folds his hands in front of him. “Yes—” he nods— “I do.”

“This wasn't supposed to go on this long—” Edward tosses his towel in the biohazard ben next to the metal table— “and we both knew this would have to stop.”

“I know,” Lucius answered honestly. With Edward being a married man, Lucius always new this affair would end. They’ve always been open about that. They just didn't know when.

“Tonight's the last time,” Edward confirmed. He can no longer live with the guilt of repeatedly breaking Oswald's heart behind his back. Lucius is a kind and gentle man who's always treated Edward with respect, but Edward doesn't love him. He never has. Their time together was only to live out a fantasy and cure lustful desires that had slowly built up between them.

“Okay,” Lucius says and takes Edward's hand to kiss it one last time. “I respect that.”

“You know I love Oswald, but I'm still not sure why I kept doing this to him.”

“We just have a connection, Edward. Something we needed to act upon and get out of our system.”

“Is it out of yours?”, Edward curiously asks.

Lucius takes pause before answering truthfully. “No—” he lightly squeezes Edward's hand— “but that doesn't matter.”

“Your right. It doesn't…. I just-I just have to tell Oswald.” Edward's body begins to tremble with anxiety over the thought of losing his husband. “I have to tell him—” tears stream from his eyes— “but I don't want to lose him.”

“It's not going to be easy and it will take some time, but he might forgive you.”

“You don't know Oswald the way I do.” Edward sniffs and dries his tears. “He's going to literally try to kill me.”

“Maybe you don't know him as well as you think and he might be forgiving.”

“I don't know what to think. I just know that I'm scared.”

“You're a strong man Edward—” he cups his cheek and wipes away the tear— “and you can get through whatever happens.”

“You really believe that?”

“More than anything.” Lucius strokes his thumbs gently over Edward's bottom lip.

“Okay—” he takes a ruffled breath and calms himself— “I'm-I'm gonna to go home now.”

“You should do that.”

Edward lightly grazes his fingertip over Lucius’ goatee. “Thank you for everything—” he abruptly plants a firm kiss on Lucius’ soft lips taking away his breath, and breaks it off just as quickly as it started— “but especially for being my friend,” he says breathlessly.

Lucius licks his lips to savor the favor of the man he’ll never have again. “Goodbye, Edward.”

“Goodbye, Foxy.”

## *  
*  
*  
*  
*

_[present day]_

A month has passed since the last time Edward went to Oswald's house to explain himself and beg for his forgiveness. He’s given his ex-husband time to reflect on the direction of their relationship. He hasn't contacted him since that day and doesn't know if any of his feelings have changed.

Since their divorce was final as of the day Oswald filed and put a rush on the settlement, Edward has been living in the loft he owned before he met Oswald. His life is lonely and meaningless since confessing to Oswald about the affair with Lucius, but Edward still lives in hope for one day to put that ring back on Oswald's finger.

_*knock, knock, knock*_

Edward sits up from the couch, sets his book down on the coffee table, (Reading and working are the only things that successfully distract him from the pain of needing Oswald.) and squints at the metal sliding door. He isn't expecting visitors and no one but the police captain knows he took a personal day off.

The knocking continues, but this time in a rhythm that Edward immediately recognizes.

“Oswald?”, he mutters and rushes up from the couch to stagger to the door. He glimpses at his appearance in the wall mirror by the door and fixes his hair the best way that can on such short notice, then takes a deep breath before sliding open the door. The air in his lungs is nearly taken away by the man before him. “You are a stunning sight for very, very, sore eyes.”

Oswald gazes down at the floor to hide any emotional expressions and when he feels he has a handle on them, he looks back up at Edward. “You left this at the house.” He reveals an emerald green hat from behind his back.

“My bowler hat,” Edward says pleased and gently takes the hat from Oswald's hand.

“I know how much you love that hideous thing.”

Edward smiles at his comment. Oswald didn't think it was hideous all those times when it was the only thing he was wearing. “Thank you for bringing it to me, Oswald.”

“You're welcome.”

They stand quietly across from one another and stare at each other awkwardly. Edward is hoping that he really didn't come all this way only to drop off his silly old hat.

“Would you like to come in?”, he asks, breaking the silence between them.

“No!” Oswald says loud and childishly. He quickly turns away to make his way to the elevator, but he suddenly stops and stands in the middle of the hall. He peeks back at Edward from over his left shoulder and the expression painted on the taller man's features is sheer shock. He should bask in the moment, rub it all in his face that he made him feel like a fool, but to ridicule him is not the reason why he stopped by. “Yes,” he eventually says and limps back towards Edward. “I would like to come in.”

Opening the door wider, Edward's face lights up with another bright smile. He doesn't know exactly why Oswald is here, but he’s thrilled that he is. “Can I get you anything?”, he offers and closes the door, then rests his bowler hat on top of a side table. “I was going to make some tea.”

“Do you have something stiffer?”, he asks, needing help to pacify his nerves.

“I think I may have something.” Edward walks to the kitchen, opens the freezer and takes out a half-full bottle of whiskey. He removes a small glass from the upper cabinet and pours his ex a shot. “Do you mind if I ask how you knew I was home?” He joins Oswald standing at the couch and hands him the shot of firewater.

“I called the station.” He takes the shot and the cold liquid warms in his throat as it goes down. “You still have me listed as your husband.”

“I'm still hoping that someday you will be again.”

Oswald huffs, rolling his eyes, and holds the glass out for Edward to pour him another.

Edward pops off the top and instantly complies, then watches as Oswald kills the second glass. “Correct me if I'm wrong, but you didn't come here to drink all my liquor and bring me my hat.”

“Of course I didn't.” Oswald snatches the bottle and plops down on the couch. “The hat was just the excuse I used to make myself actually get to the door. You know exactly why I'm here.”

“I think I do.” He takes the seat next to Oswald. “You wanna talk about us.”

Pouring himself another shot, Oswald nods his head as an answer.

Feeling a heavy weight lifted from his shoulders, Edward's eyes light up and he lays a hand on Oswald's upper thigh. “Oh, I'm so happ-”

“Don't touch me,” Oswald demands.

He quickly retreats his hand. “I'm sorry, Oswald.”

Oswald takes another shot then sits the glass and bottle on the coffee table. He turns his entire body to face Edward and gawks at him as he breathes through his nose. “Don't touch me,” he repeats.

“I won't—” Edward scoots away from him— “I promise.”

Oswald closes his eyes and takes a moment to meditate. Edward's touch still feels like a branding iron searing through his clothes straight to his flesh. When he opens his eyes, he finds Edward sitting on his hands. Oswald knows how much Edward loves to touch him and sitting on his hands is the best thing he can do.

“How many times have you been with him?” Oswald asks. He can't begin to forgive Edward if he doesn't know what he's forgiving him for.

Edward raises his brow. “Oswald, you don't want to know that.” He doesn't think those details have anything to do with the status of their relationship.

“I wouldn't have asked if I didn't. I need to know exactly what you did to break my heart,” Oswald explains. “This is to help me understand your actions and put everything out on the table between us.”

“Fair enough.” Edward takes a breath and removes his glasses to pinch the bridge of his nose. He hasn't thought about those days in months and didn't think he'd have to relive them with Oswald.

“Answer the question, Ed,” Oswald says impatiently sharp.

Quickly looking up, Edward replaces his glasses and stares squarely into Oswald's eyes. “We’ve had sex four times, but we've been together a little more than that,” he admits the truth.

“What do you mean by  _been together_?”

“We went out a few places.”

Taking a sharp breath, Oswald lays his right hand over his rapidly beating heart. He can almost feel it plummeting to the pit of his stomach. This whole time he thought it was only sex. He never imagined them going out on dates.

“Are you okay, Oswald?”

He digs deep down within him to find the strength to speak. “Yes—” the words nearly choke him getting caught in his throat— “I'm fine.”

“Those times together weren't anything extravagant, I promise.”

Oswald hastily pours himself another drink.

“Can I have one too?”

Oswald slips the bottle across the table and shoots his whiskey back.

Edward takes his drink from the bottle.

After slamming the glass back on the table, Oswald asks his next question. “Where did you have sex?”

“His house, the back of his car, and the lab twice,” he answers without hesitation.

With every answer, it feels like another jab into Oswald's heart. “I'm never going in your lab again,” he says with revulsion.

“You don't have to, Oswald,” Edward quickly declares. He would never take Oswald anywhere he's been with Lucius.

“When was the last time you fucked him?” Oswald fires off the next question. This is all too painful, but he needs to know the answers and quickly.

“Two days before I told you.”

“So it's been a year?”

“Yes, and we haven't been touched each other ever since,” Edward confessed. “He even quit and started working at Wayne Enterprises again two months after. We haven't seen each other this whole time and I hear he's been dating Alfred Pennyworth now.”

Though they were still able to work together professionally, their personal history was too intimate to just ignore. Lucius needed a change and to be away from Edward so that they both could put their lives back on track.

Oswald is relieved to know that they haven't continued anything together even after Ed and his lightning-quick divorce. “I know that you already said that you didn't, but I need to hear it again,” he says, then asks the question that still sends repulsive shivers down his spine. “Did you love him?”

“No,” he answers clearly and honestly. “I never did.”

“Did he love you?”

“I don't know and I don't care,” Edward acknowledges passionately, eyes glossy with tears that threaten to fall to his cheeks. “We never talked about love and any time the word was mentioned it was me talking about you.” He's told Oswald this before, but he'll say it a million times if Oswald needs to hear it to feel secure about the way Edward feels about him. “I love you, Oswald Cobblepot. You're the only man I've ever loved. The only man I will love. I married you and I want to do it again.” He shows Oswald his right hand where his wedding ring still accessorizes his finger. “Even after the divorce, I never took it off. I belong to you.” He scoots a little closer to Oswald, but he dears not to touch him. He's already promised that he wouldn't. “I made a terrible mistake that I will have to live with for the rest of my life. I'll probably never have your full trust again, but I can live with that. I don't deserve to have all your trust, but what I can not do is live without you.”

Oswald listens attentively, heart hammering out of his chest. He's missed Edward's raw passion and can tell that he means every word he speaks.  

“I’m so sorry, Oswald—” he dries the tears in his eyes— “for breaking your heart, lying to you, making you think I didn't love you, for every tear you cried at night, and every thought that made you think you weren't good enough for me because you were. You always were…. I was the one that wasn't good enough for you…. I'm still not, but I'm willing to work and be the man that you do deserve.” He takes a deep breath after spilling everything he’s always wanted to tell to Oswald, but they never had a real talk ever since the divorce. It feels so good to finally say them and know that Oswald heard every single word. “If you're willing to take me back.”

Oswald turns his body and stares at the bottle on the table. He shouldn't take him back. The lying cheating bastard deserves to be alone for the rest of his life, but Oswald still loves him. He's never stopped loving him and he does believe that people can change. His mother instilled in him many important life lessons when he was boy and forgiveness was one of them. Though forgiveness has never been easy for Oswald he's willing to try for the man he loves.

“I'll probably never fully understand why you did it,” he says looking back up at Edward. “Or why having sex with another man was so enticing. I don't get those feelings. I don't have those urges and I never will….. You are the only person I ever loved. The only one who loved me back and you broke my heart. There will always be a part of me that will hate you for that, that will question your every move, and would want to slit your fucking throat,” he snarls the last words through his teeth and takes a moment to hold back the feeling of grabbing the bottle on the table and bludgeoning him with it. “However—” breaths in deeply and out slowly— “I can fight off that part of me. I just did,” says more serenely than before. “I can do that because I love you and I can't live without you either.”

“I can respect that, Oswald. If things were the other way around I'd probably feel the same.”

“Getting back to where we were isn't going to be easy and it isn't going to be quick.” Though he can't stand the sensation of Edward touching him yet, Oswald reaches over and cups his tear-stained cheek.

Edward can feel the world moving under him as he closes his eyes and melds into Oswald's warm hand. He doesn't touch him back, he knows Oswald isn't ready, but the fact that he reached out to touch him is a sign that things will be fine. They can move past this ugliness and rebuild their lives together.

“I still need time to process—” Oswald takes back his hand— “but we have to rebuild trust and we can not do that living in different places.”

Edward's eyes fly open. Did he just hear Oswald correctly? “Are you letting me come home?”, he asks, needing to make sure he didn't imagine those words.

“Yes,” Oswald answers with a nod.

Edward's heart flutters with immeasurable joy as he fights off the need to grab Oswald and kiss his beautiful lips. “Thank you, Oswald. I know how difficult it was to make that decision and how you didn't have to.”

“You're right,” Oswald says, holding back the emotion in his voice. “I didn't have to do any of this, but I did. I love you, Edward. Even though you did a stupid, selfish, and pathetic thing. I still love you.”

More tears fall to Edward's cheeks, overwhelmed with the sense of compassion radiating from Oswald. “I will always be grateful to you for this. For giving me a second chance and for loving me. None of which I deserve.”

“I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't think you deserved it, Edward.”

“I just feel like I don't and I probably always will feel this way.”

Oswald can't find the words to reply as he gazes into those sorrowful brown eyes, seeing the guilt that Edward will always carry with him. “I'm drained from all this, Ed. I just wanna go home and not have to think about this anymore.”

“Okay. I understand.”

“Yeah…. Okay….”, Oswald says under his breath and stands from the couch. “You get some of your stuff together and I’ll send someone to get the rest tomorrow.”

“Wait.” Edward hops up to his feet. “I get to come home now?” He can't believe that this is really happening. Is he dreaming it all again?

“Yes, you do,” he assures and makes his way to the exit before he gets the urge to touch him again. “I'll be waiting for you in the limo—” slides open the door— “and you should hurry up. Olga is making ghoulish for dinner.”

“You know I hate the way she makes it,” Edward says with a chuckle, smiling for the first time since they sat on the couch. He can feel things starting to get back to normal already. “I only eat it when you cook it.”

Oswald turns back and says with a smirk, “That's why she's making it.”


End file.
